Dance!

I just found this short video of Emma and thought I should share. The girl loves to dance and can even say the word. (Oh, she also signs 'milk 'while dancing.) I think the video was taken on July 5th - Jeremy's birthday.

What a Difference a Year Makes!

One day at the beach, while floating Emma around in her baby float, my mom and I were in the pool enjoying another relaxing day. Emma was loving every second of her pool time, dipping her tiny fingers in the water and sucking the little droplets off her hands. My mom looked at Emma, then at me and said, "Last summer, did you ever think that you would be doing this with her one day?" My answer was a resounding NO!

A year ago, I really couldn't imagine being in a place where we would be doing nothing but enjoying the simple pleasures of soaking up the sun and feeling the cool water against our skin. Just watching our little one experience these joys for the first time. I honestly thought that we were going to be in that hospital room in the NICU forever, watching other babies move into the next bed space and the move out a week or two later to go home to their families.

Even on the days I could imagine a life outside of the 9th floor of Beth Isreal Deaconess Medical Center, I didn't think it would be the life that my other new-mommy friends would be experiece. And, truth be told, when we did come home, it wasn't the same. All of our doctors appointments, surgeries, and constant worry about the continuously growing pocket of fluid on her head, separated our life from the life I expected and the lives that my friends were experiencing.

In that pool in Hilton Head, 11 months after her birth, we were experiencing life as it is supposed to be. My mom pointed out that no one in the pool, or on the beach, had any idea of what Emma had been through. Now that her hair has grown in, there's no sign of what once was an obvious indicator that something about Emma's body wasn't quite right. Notice I said, Emma's body and not Emma. There is nothing wrong with Emma. There never has been. Emma, is perfect (in my completely, unbiased opinion, of course). It's Emma's body that is slightly less than perfect. It's her body that needs a little help, not her. A year later, that is more apparent than ever!

Yesterday we went to see her neurologist for a routine follow-up. I realized that it was, I think, exactly a year from the date that the same doctor came to see her in the NICU. He was the first neurologist to look at her head ultrasound, and though he didn't have another rotation during her NICU stay, he ended up being her neurologist on our first visit to Children's Hospital. When he first saw her, she was a very ill newborn whose full diagnosis was unknown. At that point, she weighed only 6 1/2 pounds,after losing a pound from her birth weight, and a little over 20 inches long. She slept, ate and cried.

Now she is 18 lbs 5 oz and 31 inches long! She does much more than eat, sleep and cry. She talks, crawls, pulls her self up, feeds herself, makes us laugh, pretends to yawn and chew, points out hats whenever she sees one, says hi to EVERYONE, and loves books, ducks and hugging her baby dolls.

Last year, the neurologist wasn't sure yet if it was really meningitis. Hydrocephalus wasn't quite a part of the equation. Her ventricles were slightly enlarged, but it wasn't clear yet that there were going to continue to grow. We only knew that if meninigitis and/or hydrochephalus were the culprit of her illness, that we might have to begin changing our ideas about how Emma would grow.

A year later, Emma has shown us that meningitis and hydrocephalus were no match for her. Despite some intense 'white coat syndrome', which resulted in Emma trembling and quivering in fear as well as some even more intense screaming, the doctor was able to see how well our little Emma Bean is doing. Although she didn't perform any of the tasks he asked her to perform, all of which she could have done with FLYING COLORS, he could still see that there have been no ill effects on the function of her brain. After she calmed down, while the doctor showed us the images from her MRI in February, she began pointing to everything in the office and asking in her sweet baby voice, 'What'sth thisth? What'sth thisth?' Thank goodness she decided to show a little piece of who she really is - a vivacious, bright, larger than life 1 year old, not a trembling, shy, little wallflower.

He said she was clearly doing very well. According to him, she looks fantastic and is talking like an 18-month-old. He asked if she was getting Early Intervention services, but when I explained that she had been until we moved, but that we hadn't pursued it here, he said, 'Honestly, I don't even think she would qualify because she is doing so well.' Music to a mommy's ears! So he wants to see her to have another MRI in February and see her in March with a Neuropyschologist and Phsyical Therapist to get a baseline evaluation of her congnitive and phyiscal development. All standard procedure in managing her care. I'm so grateful that he is the one caring for her through these important developmental years. I'm also so grateful that he is the one who know how far she has come in the last year. Seriously .... what a difference a year makes!

Happy Birhday, Emma Bean!

Although I'm quite tired after a day of taking of a one year old, I couldn't let the day end without at least a brief post. I will update another day on the words my little munchkin has mastered, the commands she follows, the questions she responds to and all the other good stuff she has been learning, but for now, I will just say this:

Happy 1st Birthday Little Love Bug! You are an amazing wonder! You are the constant bright spot in my day. I don't know where this last year and 11 hours have gone, but you've taken me on the most important journey of my life! I love you more everyday and can't wait to see what you have in store for this upcoming year!

Beach Baby

It's been almost a week since we arrived home from our wonderful trip to Hilton Head. It's amazing how it seems that the days before a much anticipated vacation seem to creep along, but once on said vacation, the days race by. Every year I wake up on the first morning at the beach feeling so excited to be there and so thrilled that we still have 6 whole days ahead of us. Somehow though, the end of the week comes in what seems like much less than 6 days. I've decided that a week just isn't enough for a trip to the beach!

So much happened while we were away that if I write in my usual fashion, which I know tends to be a bit 'wordy', the blog will never end. Instead, I will narrate with pictures. They say a picture is worth 1,000 words right!

On our first morning in Hilton Head, Emma woke up to find her new innertube courtesy of Grandma and Grandpa. We decided to give it a try in the living room' She quite enjoyed it! I could probably post a whole blog of pictures involving the innertube in the living room. She crawled out of it, held it with her feet, put it on her head ... it was endless fun!

Later in the day, we headed to the beach. Trying to coordinate Emma's meals and naps with beach time was quite a challenge. By the time, I got her dressed, lotioned up and to the beach, it seemed like it was time for a bottle and another nap. The first day was not too relaxing ...

... but, seeing Emma in the water for the first time made up for the lack of relxation. Do you love the baby Crocs, or what!? Grandma got those too. She didn't really need them in the water, but they were just too cute not to wear!

At first she wasn't sure what to make of the water, but once we took her all the way in, she loved every second of it!

Playing in the water tuckered our little one out. Grandma was only too happy to give her a bottle and provide a place to rest.

After a nap, we changed bathing suits and headed to the pool. We were quite lucky to have the pool directly acroos the street from our condo. It was so nice and quiet. I think the pool was her favorite place. She could have floated all day. She really is a water baby!

While waiting for our table at dinner, Uncle Andrew kept Emma entertained. I think she was actually dancing to the music being played on the restaurant's deck. Maybe she was actually entertaining us.

Just a happy girl! My dad says that Emma has been in more restaurants in her 11 months of life than he was in by the time he was in college. I suppose that might be true ... we just like to go out to eat! We realized we'd reached quite a milestone when we began ordering food for her off the children's menu in a few of the restaurants. My little baby isn't so little anymore!

One of our favorite Hilton Head activities is riding bikes around the plantation. Among Emma's many firsts on the trip was her first bike ride. She rode happily in this little Kiddie Kart trailing behind Jeremy's bike. It ended up being a nice way to get in her morning nap without having to spend the whole morning in the condo.

Another first? Her first pig tails! Her hair continues to get longer and more unruly. It is also very curly in the humidity. After one day at the beach, we decided to get her hair out of her face and put in some pig tails. So cute!


Sporting her new do!

The second day at the beach, we decided to bring the stroller so she would have a sand free place to sit and also to nap. We got into a routine of taking her for a walk on the beach until she fell asleep. Then we were able to get an hour of relaxation. Her beach time 'lovey'? Daddy's Red Sox hat. She even learned to say 'hat' while we were away along with 'glasses' which usually came out without the 'gl' sound. Oh well!

Aunt Jen and Emma sharing some girl time. Jen was trying to read to her, but like a true 'big girl', Emma was more interested in her phone.

Pig tails do have their drawbacks. Because of all of the sunscreen, salt water, pool water and sweat, her hair sort of retained it's shape even once the pigtails came out making Emma look a bit like the mayor of Muchkin City or perhaps a resident of Who-ville!

Emma had a hat to match this suit, but, sadly, she already outgrew it. It also didn't have a strap so she took it off instantly. After seeing some little ones with hats like these on the beach, I decided to go in search of one. She did not like it, but the ties kept it on and eventually she forgot it was there.

We discovered in one of the many restaurants we visited that Emma LOVES lemons! I gave her a taste in one restaurant just to see what she would do. She had a few sour bites, but always went back for more. In this picture, my mom may have been holding the lemon, but Emma was forcing the lemon to her mouth. She ate the whole thing!

Emma and Grandpa after dinner on our last night. Take note of the adorable flip flops my mom got her! (What we do without the grandmas? And what would the grandmas shop for if we didn't have a little girl!?) If you can't see them, they have pink and green corkscrew ribbons adorning her toes.

Our family now has four July birthdays. Jeremy on the 5th, Jen on the 10th, Emma on the 15th and Mom on the 30th. We've traditionally been at the beach close to my mom's birthday and have always celebrated her birthday there. Since Jen and Jeremy joined the family we've celebrated theirs also and now this year we celebrated Emma's eventhough she really just turned 11 months. Jen made a giant cup cake for the adults and made a little cake for Emma. It was very sweet although she had no idea what it was all about!

To my surprise, she did not dive into the cake like I thought she might, but instead, Jeremy had to dip her hands in the icing and give her a taste. To add to my theory that she is somehow not my child, Emma shockingly did NOT like the cake or the icing!

On what was supposed to be our last day, Jeremy, Emma and I drove around the island lookng for things to do. We had to check out at 10, but our flight didn't leave until 4. Everyone else left around 7 or 8 since they had a long drive back to Pittsburgh. We weren't sure how to waste the time because it was 101 degrees! No walks on the beach in that kind of weather. We finally ended up at a restaurant and decided that, in spite of the heat, we would sit outside. Inside wasn't much cooler and there were fans on the patio which made it much more enjoyable. My little angel was such a good girl eventhough we were all melting!

We finally headed to the airport only to find out that our flight was over booked and they were looking for volunteers. We volunteered to fly the next day in exchange for a hotel room and some generous flight vouchers! Definitely a different experience from the rest of our trip, but at least we were ready to go home the next day!

My exhausted lovebugs at dinner on our extra night ... hot, sweaty and tired, but still loving the island!

After a rough night - Emma had a little meltdown before bed because she couldn't figure out why she wasn't on her way home or where Grandma, Grandpa, Andrew and Jen went - she was bright eyed, bushy tailed at the Charlotte airport ready to get back home. It was an awesome trip! We are always sad to leave the island, but I was extra sad this time. I can't wait to take her back again. I think she is definitely a beach baby!

It's 'Vintage'

While crawling on the beach next week, Emma will be able to tell other beach goers that one of her suits is 'vintage'. During a trip to Pittsburgh, I rooted through the baby clothes that mom still had from my brother and I. Among the treasures I found were two pink baby bathing suits. I brought my finds home and put them in her closet.

As I packed for vacation, I pulled out the little pink suits and tried them on my string bean. Both suits were Carter's. The first was very bright pink with a bundle of balloons in the middle of the chest. It was labeled 18-24 months, but was a bit short on Emma. The second, a lighter pink with a bundle of flowers embroidered on the hip, was labeled 4T and fit pretty well. My little peanut is usually in clothes smaller than her age. I guess 30 years ago babies were smaller!? Hard to believe that's true! Anyway, she didn't seem to mind wearing her new gear so I let her play in it for awhile. Here are some pictures of my little Emma Bean wearing MY old bathing suit!

Readng her favorite book

Showing how well she can sit up now

Reading to Daddy and her stuffed animals -- '...a golden flying horse.'

Showing Daddy her new suit

My little beach baby

What's New?

After almost a year of her looking exactly like Daddy, I think she actually looks like a Birnie in this picture! What do you think?

What's new? Just about everything these days! Jeremy and I have been working hard to make our new home feel like our own. We have lots of new paint, new furniture and some new 'knick-knacks'. We have new neighbors who've been very friendly. We have a new town to explore, new restaurants to try and new stores in which to shop. Of all the new things in our lives, the most exciting, and challenging at the same time, are Emma's new skills!

Enjoying an evening in downtown Dover.



Mommy forgot part of Emma's bottle when we went out for dinner (I know surprise, surprise!), so we tried lots of new foods to keep her content after drinking her formula through a straw and straight from the bottle sans nipple didn't work. The orange was her favorite although I think it gave her a little diaper rash the next day. Another favorite? Mac and cheese! Aren't I getting so brave with her food?


Our living room has a new paint job and new couch! A new chair is on the way, but it was broken when it arrived the first time so they have to bring a new one.


The new addition to Emma's playroom. It looked like this for all of about 1 hour!

Emma seems to be enjoying all the space our new house provides. Almost the moment we moved in, she began army crawling. In our condo in Somerville, space was limited and obstructed. She relied on rolling in one direction to get from point A to point B. The longest distance of travel was about 6 or 7 feet. The new house has lots of empty rooms allowing her room to roam. The hardwood floors here are better for baby play than the ones in our condo, and once I got over the fear of her smacking her head on the floor, I was able to let her enjoy the freedom. Such freedom has enticed her to develop a more efficient and less dizzy-ing mode of transportation - the army crawl. She puts one arm in front of the other while bringing one leg up to her side. She pulls with her arm and pushes off with her foot, dragging her belly across the floor. She has become extremely fast and if we let her, she would propel herself from one end of the house to the other. It's exciting, but I fully understand all the warnings that were given when I expressed my concern that crawling had not begun. No more leaving her in one spot and knowing she'll always be there!

Army crawling toward the camera

I had hoped that I would be able to put her in her playroom where she could crawl wherever she wanted and get into anything in her path. A prospect that is enticing when I have to do something alone and need her to entertain herself. She has decided that she doesn't want to be stuck in that room though. She can often be found half in and half out of her playroom on her way to escaping. If there is something she shouldn't have or a place she shouldn't be, she will abandon her toys and her safe play area to pursue the forbidden. I suppose it's true of most children. While at times I think it's funny, it is getting increasingly frustrating! I think she starting to realize that there might be an even better way of getting around. More and more frequently, she tries to get her tushy up in the air and put her knees under her. She's not quite there yet, but she's working on it. We better get some baby gates!

Half way out trying to make her break!

I thought closing the door to the playroom was a good idea when I had to run upstairs for a second. I didn't count on her camping out in front of the door making it impossible for me to open the door without running into her. Oops!

She is also able to get from a sitting position to her tummy or her back without throwing herself backwards and slamming her head on the floor! She can lean forward and maneuver her legs out from under her. It's really amazing to watch knowing that I didn't teach her that. No one taught her that. She just figured it out!

Emma is still into using her feet to hold objects. Our new neighbor noticed her unique talent and was quite amazed. Here she is holding her baby while she shakes a rattling egg. She also likes to prop her books in her feet while Daddy reads to her or when she 'reads' to herself.

Usually so much 'new' can be unsettling and anxiety inducing. Anxiety is something that I am quite used to. I get anxious over the smallest, most irrational things. I'm sure it comes as no surprise that the last almost-11-months have been filled with anxious moments for me. I feared that something bad was going to happen any moment. I never wanted to leave Emma's side for fear that I wouldn't be around to protect her. It didn't seem to matter than when I did leave, she was in the care of her daddy or her grandparents who I knew her taking good care of her. I just kept imagining all the terrible things that could happen if I was away, fully knowing that they could happen even if I were around. I just couldn't shake the fear.

Somehow, though, all this 'new', moving here has not elicited any feelings of anxiety. All those fears I had in Boston are gone. Well, maybe not gone, but they are now way in the back of my mind, not stepping on every positive thought that I have. As much as I loved Boston, was so thankful that we were so close to such wonderful medical facilities, was reassured knowing that Emma's care really had been in the hands of some world-class doctors, every part of the city, held memories of the time that Emma spent in the hospital. I remember moments of those 8 1/2 weeks, plus the few nights we spent at Children's, more vividly than any other time in the last year, maybe even my life. The memories will always be there, but they are not all consuming as they once were.

I have a sense of calm here. I still worry, but not over silly things. I don't worry every time I run to the store without Emma. In fact, I've gotten quite good at it and don't feel the need to check in after a few minutes in the car. It feels good. Being here just feels right and that certainly is a NEW feeling for me!

I just wanted to leave you with this funny picture. Emma and her new chew toy - a beer coaster! Don't worry, there wasn't any beer on it! It's amazing what will entertain her in a restaurant!

PS We're heading to the beach this weekend, so next week will be without a post most likely. I'm hoping the wait will be worth it though when I have a slew of adorable beach pictures to share!

Farewell, MIT!

I've always been proud of Jeremy. Proud to be married to a Naval Officer. Proud to be married to a man with intelligence and integrity. Proud to be married to a man that can easily be described as a loving and devoted father. But, I've never been as proud as I was yesterday. I don't like to brag ... okay, maybe I do a little bit ... but, I have to brag about Jeremy's accomplishments.

Yesterday morning, Lieutenant Commander Jeremy Thomas Leghorn graduated from Massachusetts Institute of Technology with a Master's Degree in Electrical Engineering and a Naval Engineers Degree. Before the ceremony, his class of fellow naval officers had an awards ceremony during which Jeremy was awarded the Brand Award for having the highest GPA among all the Navy men. His cumulative GPA was a 4.83 on a 5 point scale ... at MIT! Pretty impressive if you ask me, especially considering that over the past 3 years, he would've had you believe that he was barely keeping his head of water in the sea of academic knowledge that is MIT.

Emma and I attended the MIT graduation with Jeremy's parents, Helen and Barry. The ceremony was outside on the lawn in front of the MIT dome. If you've ever seen a picture of MIT, you've probably seen a picture of the dome ... a large building with lots of windows, pillars and topped off with a large dome. It was a beautiful backdrop for the events of the day. I'd love to show you a picture, but in the tradition of Birnie family photography, my battery died as soon as the processional began. Oops!

Governor Deval Patrick gave the commencement address which was inspiring in the end, but if you were a Republican, as we tend to be, you had to check your political party at the door. Oh well. Still pretty cool to hear the Governor up close and personal.

Emma surprisingly did fairly well. She was a little squirmy and whiny at the beginning wanting to be down on the ground rolling around, but aside from the fact that she HATES grass, I didn't really feel that her silk Janie and Jack dress was really rolling-around-on-the-ground apparel. I knew it was going to be a long morning, so we sat in the back to allow for an easy escape if necessary. To my surprise, she fell asleep during the speeches, rousing periodically as rounds of applause erupted. During a longer speech, she fell into a deeper sleep, but upon the audience's applause, the startled, opened her eyes halfway, started CLAPPING right along with the crowd, and fell right back to sleep! It was funniest, most adorable thing I've ever seen. If only I'd gotten it on video!

When I graduated from Indiana University, our graduating class was so large (somewhere between 4,000 and 6,000 students), that individual names could not be called. Instead, each school was called, it's graduates stood up, moved their tassels to the other side and magically, they had earned their degrees. Diplomas would follow a few weeks later in the mail. At MIT, they called each and every graduate's name to come to the stage, shake hands with a school official and recieve their actual diploma, or in Jeremy's case, two diplomas. While the class was not nearly as large as mine, it was still A LOT of names. They called undergraduates and students with advanced degrees simultaneously which was a bit confusing, but prevented either group's families from having to wait for all the other group's names to be called. We couldn't see much, and had to watch the video screen, but when we heard Jeremy's name called, the four of us stood up and cheered, albeit quietly, for him.

After we saw Jeremy receive his diploma, we headed up to the room that had been reserved for the Navy graduates and their families. We were finally able to get a bite to eat and allow Emma let loose a little. We congratulated our friends and their families on such a big accomplishment, waiting patiently for Jeremy to slip out of the ceremony to meet us.

An officer and ... his little lovebug

'Daddy? This doesn't look like your Red Sox hat.'

Partners in crime - LDCRs Jeremy Leghorn and Keith Douglas and LT Joe Darcy

After a few pictures, everyone started filtering out, many with a long drive ahead of them to their new commands.

It was bittersweet. A celebration of 3 long years of hard work and accomplishment, followed by a sad goodbye to those we'd become close to. The saddest was the goodbye we said to Keith, Stacey and their kids, Hayden (4) and Mia (1). We've been with Keith and Stacey since we were in San Francisco. They moved to Virginia shortly after we did. And, Keith and Jeremy were accepted to MIT at the same time. We always knew our run would come to an end, but weren't looking forward to the day it happened. Stacey and I hugged goodbye, trying not to let the tears that were beginning to well up in our eyes show. We will miss them, but know that we will see each other again. Stacey's parents also live in Pittsburgh, so I'm sure our paths will cross many times in the future. Perhaps, we will even be stationed at the same ship yard in 3 years.

LDCR Keith Douglas and his beautiful wife, Stacey Douglas

With MIT behind us, we've closed another chapter in our family story. We've already begun working on the next chapter with the purchase of our first house and moving to a new state. We look forward to what comes next for us. Thankfully, we have until the end of July to spend time at home working on the house and being together as a family before Jeremy has to go back to work. So, now it's time to say ... Farewell, MIT!