In a Holding Pattern

Today we had yet another visit from radiology for a head ultrasound followed by a visit from neurology to interpret the ultrasound. Radiology followed their typical early morning routine completing their portion of the days events by 9 or so. Neurology, to our surprise, arrived around noon! Much more desirable than the 4:45 arrival time. Anyway, the radiology report indicated that there was no change from her previous ultrasound. We were frustrated and felt sure that neurology would tell it was time to look at other treatment options. Disappointed as I was, I tried to just accept it and not get emotional. I couldn't help worrying, though, that if it was time to make the decision to place a shunt, had we really done everything to make sure that this wasn't just how Emma was built.

We really haven't had a significant change ... tap or no tap ... in the past 2 weeks, since they decreased in size initially. We don't actually know how small her ventricles were at birth. The first measurement was after the meningitis set in and the brain bleed occured. Maybe I should be a neurologist!

Based on Jeremy's report from the doctor (I wasn't there for the visit.) the neurologist had a similar thought. Not about me being a neurologist, but about the size of her ventricles. He was the new attending, and was not accompanied by quite the entourage that the previous attending, a very well known professor at Harvard Medical School, had following him. He thought the ultrasound showed that perhaps there was an obstruction at some point, but it wasn't there now and that perhaps her ventricles won't change any further in either direction. So here we are in a holding pattern ... again. On Wednesday, she will have another ultrasound to see what happens in 48 hours without a tap. I'm happy that my early morning assumptions were wrong (at least, for now), but I feel that we may be watching and waiting forever! Do you think they have a good preschool program in the NICU?

More good news ... we can now take Emma for walks out of the NICU, as long as she is in a stroller and we stay on hospital property! And the best part ... there is a Starbucks IN the hospital!!! I can't wait to stroll her down to pick up my iced venti no water Americano and pretend that we are a 'normal' family.

P.S. The Playtex Drop-Ins bottle ... not a huge success! Back to the drawing board.

Perhaps the Soothie bottle that looks like her binkie which she apparently can't get enough of since she appears to have one on stand-by.